You cry every time you come. You said that only children cry, so you feel embarrassed every time you cry… You said that you want to “become less of a crybaby” because since you were a child, whenever you face a new environment, you almost always shed tears. , and this unhappy donation makes you miserable. Physical and mental wear and tear is second. The point is, this thing will make you look like you have low stress tolerance, and you hate this feeling.
Especially when everyone around you looks strong. I think there is probably only one reason why a person’s crying point is constantly triggered, and that is that he is always under “stressors”. The so-called stressors can be real situations, past memories, or grievances where tears are not allowed. You obviously want to cry, but you remind yourself that you are an adult, and adults are responsible for everything except crying. Life is like this, what is not allowed is always the hottest. So, how can you stop crying? It’s simple, “allow yourself to cry.”
Do you have parents who don’t allow you to cry? Do you remember how your parents reacted when you cried as a child? Will they come over to comfort you, give you a hug, and tell you “I’m here,” or will they look impatient and tell you to stop crying immediately? How did you feel when your parents’ answer was the latter? Does your unforgiven heart feel more stinging and aggrieved, and tears want to pour out of your eye sockets? Not being allowed to cry irrigates the grievances in your heart, and when your parents see you crying hard, they become even more anxious to ask you to stop. Crying is a physical symptom and an emotional warning sign that we are experiencing unpleasant emotions. This kind of discomfort and grievance reflects that we have not met our psychological needs for empathy, protection, and acceptance. The more we resist this warning signal, the louder and louder it becomes. **Have you ever thought that the easiest way to stop crying is to give yourself permission to cry? ** Situations can be escaped and memories can be jumped around, but to eliminate the feeling of grievance, one can only rely on permission. Once you allow yourself to cry, crying becomes a very productive thing to do. But before we are allowed to cry, we must rethink the shedding of tears. You said that you once heard a friend say, “Maturity means having tears stuck in your eyes.” I guess when he was drinking from the hand-cranked cup, he took a look at the spiritual message on the sealing film, and then thought that he could use it one day. Parafilm can really inspire some people. However, every therapy session I have experienced tells me that maturity is not about who is better at holding back tears, but rather how you handle the next situation after you shed tears and what attitude you show. Your attitude towards problems will determine your maturity.
Allowing to cry is part of accepting and taking care of your emotions, and when we tell ourselves “I know you are sad , cry well”, we are giving ourselves a tight hug to heal our hearts faster. As for whether you muster up the courage or run away after crying, it actually doesn’t depend on whether you cried or not. Remember, tears are just a “channel.” Through it, people will have different reactions. Lying down after crying and getting up after crying are definitely two different things. Therefore, if after crying, you can calm down and focus on the next thing, then please don’t suppress it, because it is like your favorite yoga, a kind of muscle stretching that can help you relax afterwards. It’s just that it happens above the neck. After all, crying takes a lot of effort. As you slowly get used to the connection of “you can work quietly after crying”, your body will gradually adjust to the unfamiliar environment. Once you can coexist with the stressor, the time you spend crying will naturally be shortened. No matter what the future holds, please reserve a space where you can have a good cry. Crying does bring some judgment. People who don’t want to understand you may think, “Why are you crying again?” People who understand you will understand, “It doesn’t matter, just cry and it will be fine.” These comments are part of life, but they are not the most important thing. The most important thing is that you can clearly feel the energy brought by being allowed to cry. Tears are not your enemy, they are your buffer in the face of unfamiliar shocks. The purpose of their existence is not to defeat you, but to help you connect with real life. When the time comes, it will disappear unknowingly, just like the drizzle on a summer afternoon. I think at that time, you will only notice the sunshine. In your busy life, how long has it been since you had a good cry? Do you have a tenacious and persistent heart?
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