Are others always pulling your emotions and happiness? Is this puppet-like feeling painful? Want to get rid of this dependence and regain control of your emotions?
What is emotional independence?
Emotional independence means that a person is responsible for his or her own emotions and for satisfying his or her own emotional needs. When emotionally independent people face difficulties, they can control their emotions without the approval and control of others and maintain their affirmation of themselves. Emotional independence is the inner resilience of knowing that you don't need other people to make you happy.
Three tips for learning emotional independence
We must learn to manage and channel our emotions so that we can coexist with them and achieve emotional independence.
1. Meditation: Be aware of and understand your emotions.
Practicing mindfulness allows us to focus on the present moment and, more importantly, to observe our thoughts, feelings and emotions in that moment. The second step in awareness is to describe and label these emotions. How long has it been since you stopped and looked at how many thoughts and emotions are running through your mind? Many times we understand ourselves through our exposed emotions, but we don’t ask about the psychological needs behind the emotions. For example, anger, what makes us angry? Is it because of other people’s distrust? Is it because others look down on you? Is it because your expectations have been disappointed? Practicing mindfulness may help us become more aware of our emotional needs.
2. Self-compassion: A reminder to take care of your emotions.
Do you always feel like only other people can comfort you? Have you ever noticed that we can always express friendly comfort and support to our friends/loved ones, but we always criticize our own negative emotions with a critical attitude? Self-compassion reminds us that we need to be kind to ourselves, reduce criticism of negative thoughts that appear in our minds, and accept these as part of ourselves. The next time a negative thought appears in our mind, we can be aware of it, recall how we comforted our friends, and then comfort ourselves in the same way~
3. I am who I am: learn to affirm yourself.
How can we not rely on others to affirm ourselves? We always try to control how others see us, but our mouths and brains grow on others, and what we need to do more is to accept that this is difficult to change. The idea here is that while what others think of us affects our emotions, we have the autonomy to choose how we respond to those opinions.
At the same time, others may make one-sided judgments about ourselves due to communication limitations, so sometimes we don’t need to care too much about what others say.
Is it harmful to be too independent? Learn to rely on others healthily
Emotional independence does not mean that a person does not need emotional support at all. On the contrary, this obsession with emotional self-sufficiency may cause us to avoid asking for help from anyone, making us feel that no one supports us. Bad for our mental health.
Sometimes when we encounter difficulties, help from others is an effective coping resource. But how can we not rely on others? Exploring different people's solutions to problems, learning from others' help to solve problems for yourself, and establishing your own coping measures are the best ways to benefit yourself and your relationships~
Dependence and independence are located at the two levels of Libra. As we grow, we constantly adjust when we are capable of handling it and when we need to rely on others. There are many ups and downs in this process, but we must believe that we already have what it takes to become our inner self. Great potential❤️
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